KenyaOnAShoeString: Real Advice for Real Kenyans

Almost everything in our culture is goal-driven — including love. But what if life isn't a checklist? Step by Step — To Where? Let’s look at the common cultural script, especially around relationships: Date — but not for too long. Find “The One.” Get serious. Get married. Have children. Buy a house. Retire. Die knowing you followed the plan. Sounds… empty, right? But this is what many people are sold as a successful life . And we’ve absorbed this at such a deep level that even our emotional experiences get turned into to-do lists: “If we’ve been dating for X months, shouldn’t we…?” “We’ve had sex. What does it mean now?” “I love them — so that must mean we should be exclusive.” “We’re married — so I shouldn’t be feeling this way.” But what if the entire idea of "the next step" is the wrong framework for being alive? Where Did This Goal-Driven Mentality Come From? The obsession with goals isn’t human nature. It’s a product of syste...

There’s a quote that says: "To understand something deeply human, you need to immerse yourself in the human experience." In Kenya today, many of us are detached from this experience—not only from others but also from ourselves. We perform life instead of living it. We chase survival or success but forget to feel. We go through heartbreak, loss, joy, and struggle without stopping to ask, _"What is this teaching me about being human?" What Is the Human Experience? The human experience is not just being alive. It is the full range of what it means to live with emotion, memory, choice, culture, struggle, and connection. It’s the smell of githeri on a cold day, the grief of burying a parent, the weight of regret, the joy of first love, the frustration of Nairobi traffic, the laughter at a matatu joke, the panic of a rent deadline, or the hope of a new chama cycle. It is pain, pleasure, confusion, beauty, ordinary moments, and deep resilience. To become a student of the ...