Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts with the label Mental Health

Eliminating a Maybe: How Every No Moves You Closer to a Yes

We all carry around a few maybes —those half-formed ideas and dreams that hover in the background, whispering that maybe one day, we'll take the plunge. Maybe I'll move out. Maybe I'll go back to school. Maybe I'll buy land in that quiet town. Maybe I'll cut ties with that draining friend. These thoughts are not always harmless. Some maybes haunt us for years, quietly costing us peace, time, clarity, or money. This article explores real, grounded examples of Kenyans wrestling with maybes—choices that linger, pull energy, and clutter our decision-making. And how, by eliminating a maybe—either by turning it into a solid yes or a firm no—we make space for clarity and progress. 1. Muthoni – The Maybe of Buying Land in Naivasha The Maybe: Muthoni had her eye on a piece of land in Naivasha for months. She envisioned weekend getaways, a tiny home, maybe even hosting creatives for retreats. The Cost of the Maybe: She spent months obsessively browsing listings, calculating...

The Loud Silence: Why Kenya Is Drowning in Noise—and What It's Costing Us

  “Beware the bareness of a busy life,” Socrates once said. But what about the loudness of a distracted one? From matatus blaring vulgar music, to church keshas echoing through residential estates, to restaurants where conversation is a fight against speakers—it seems Kenya has made noise the background of everyday life. But what is this obsession with sound? What is all this noise trying to drown out? Noise as Culture, But Also as Coping Let’s be clear: noise has always had a place in Kenyan culture. Luo benga, Kikuyu folk tunes, Luhya drumming, Swahili taarab… music and sound are part of celebration, spirituality, and storytelling. But what we’re experiencing now is different. What we’re hearing now is not cultural expression—it’s emotional avoidance. The Psychology of Noise: What Are We Running From? 1. Noise and Loneliness We live in a time of increasing isolation. Nairobi apartments are filled with single occupants. Friendships are transactional. Family members drift emo...

The Things We Wear So We Don’t Feel Poor: Status Signaling in Kenya

Most of us are performing. Not just online — but in our clothes, our conversations, our spending, our silence. We perform for our families, our neighbors, our peers. We perform for strangers on Instagram and for classmates we haven’t spoken to in years. We perform to say, “I made it,” even when we haven’t. We perform to hide the hustle, the loans, the grief, the shame. In Kenya, to look like you’re struggling is often worse than to actually struggle. So we signal. With shoes, with weddings, with cars, with captions. Because dignity — here — is something you must display to be allowed to keep. We borrowed the car, we leased the house, Took the loan, wore the lace, smiled for the photos. Just to whisper to the world — I am not the struggle I came from. When Dignity Must Be Displayed In Kenya, poverty is more than economic — it is a social stigma, a public shame. Many of us are not just trying to escape hardship, we are trying to escape the look of it. In a society where ...

What do you do when life feels like one long, endless hustle—and you look around and it seems like everyone else is thriving?

There’s a strange ache that creeps in when you’re doing your best, struggling to make ends meet, yet everywhere you look, people are going on weekend getaways, attending international concerts, upgrading their cars, and living what appears to be their best life. You’re not jealous. You’re just tired. You’re not bitter. You’re just exhausted from constantly feeling like you’re playing catch-up. You’re not ungrateful. You’re just wondering when your turn will come—and if it ever will. We’re in a season where “everyone is struggling” is the common language, yet the matatus are still full, the roads are still jammed with cars, and even midweek concerts are packed. The malls aren’t empty, and data bundles are still being bought. So what gives? The truth is, Kenya is a country of multiple realities. Some people have always had money. Some people finally got lucky. Some people are in debt. Some people are silently drowning. Some people genuinely don’t have responsibilities right now and...

Why Are We So Disconnected? And what does it take to build meaningful friendships in Kenya today?

You attend a hike. Everyone’s laughing, taking selfies, posting about how amazing the trail is. But somehow, you feel lonelier than ever. Not because you’re shy or antisocial—but because everything feels… transactional. You join a book club. You go to an event. You reply to an ad. The energy is promising, the first few conversations hopeful—but eventually, it becomes a performance. Everyone wants to seem interesting, deep, well-read. Few want to simply be known. We live in a society that talks about the loneliness epidemic—but rarely admits the role we play in it. In Nairobi and beyond, Kenyans are struggling to make real friendships. Not surface-level connections. Not social capital. Real, mutual, honest-to-God friendships. So what’s going on? We’ve Turned Friendship into a Transaction Let’s be honest: Many of us are looking for connections that “make sense.” We scan the room and instinctively filter people: Can they help me get a job? Are they well-connected? Do they look like someon...

Life After Survival: When the Struggle Ends, and You Don’t Know What to Do With Peace

In Kenya, survival is not just a phase—it becomes a personality. A way of life. We know how to stretch a coin, how to skip meals, how to walk instead of board, how to delay joy in service of something bigger. We know how to sacrifice . But no one ever teaches us how to stop . You fight to build a life. You give up weekends, comfort, health, joy— even yourself —so your child can finish school, so you can buy that plot, build that house, survive that disease, leave that bad marriage, or finally be free of the debt that has followed you like a shadow. Then the fight ends. The child graduates. The house is done. The cancer is in remission. The toxic relationship is over. The money finally makes sense. You made it. But now, you find yourself staring into the quiet… and you don’t know what to do with it. What Does It Mean to Live After You’ve Been in Survival Mode? A man once said, “I sacrificed everything so my children would have a better life. I don’t even know what I like anymor...

When the Storm Passes and We Keep Running: Why Kenyans Struggle to Be Still

There’s a kind of grief we rarely speak about in Kenya—the grief that comes not from loss, but from survival. Many Kenyans know what it’s like to give up entire decades of their lives for the sake of family. We raise children who aren’t ours. We care for ageing, ailing parents when healthcare fails. We build homes from scratch while still repaying loans. We battle court cases over family land, support siblings through school, and somehow still show up to work, church, harambees, and funerals with a smile. We are excellent at pushing through pain. We endure. We provide. We hold everything together. And so we often tell ourselves: “I’ll rest when I’m done.” But what if done never comes? Even after the chaos ends—the illness, the debt, the heartbreak—we don’t rest. We move the goalpost. We chase another opportunity. We dream of new lands and new starts. We keep running, because stillness feels foreign. We are a nation that knows how to hustle, how to survive—but we don’t know how t...

If You Think Having Uncomfortable Conversations Is Hard, Wait Until You See the Results of Not Having Them

Kenyans have mastered the art of silence. We call it ‘moving on,’ but what we’re really doing is running away—from pain, from history, from accountability. We tell ourselves that forgetting is the same as healing, that ignoring problems makes them disappear. But our silence has a cost, and that cost is becoming unbearable. "Peace isn’t just the absence of war; it’s the presence of justice." Post-Election Violence: The Wound That Never Heals After every election cycle, we hold our breath. We whisper prayers for peace. But peace isn’t just the absence of war; it’s the presence of justice. And justice requires truth. The 2007/2008 post-election violence left more than 1,100 dead and over 600,000 displaced. We never really talked about it. Instead, we got a political handshake, a commission whose report was buried, and a new government that told us to ‘accept and move on.’ The perpetrators walk free. The victims still wait for justice. The same tensions simmer beneath the surface...

Saturday: Kenya’s Most Valuable Asset (And Why You Should Guard It Like Your Last Born)

Saturday is not just a day; it’s an institution, a sacred ritual, a non-negotiable asset in the life of every Kenyan. It’s the one day you get to reclaim your time, your peace, your sanity, and most importantly, your future. Yet, some of you are out here trading it away like sugarcane in a traffic jam. Let’s break it down, activity by activity, and show you why sacrificing this day is a robbery—committed by either your employer or by your own bad decisions. 1. Weddings: Where Futures Are Built (Or Broken) Saturday is for weddings, and in Kenya, a wedding is not just a wedding—it’s a financial networking seminar in disguise. You’re not just eating pilau and pretending to like the bride’s gown; you’re rubbing shoulders with people who might hire you, invest in your side hustle, or introduce you to a golden opportunity. Moral of the story: That salary your employer gives you? A single handshake at a wedding could bring you a contract that triples it. But you’re here working on a Saturday...