One of the easiest things in the world is to mistake an outcome for a story. A beautiful home. A thriving business. A failed marriage. A child in an expensive school. A forty-year-old with no savings. Someone who seems to have it all. Someone who appears to have fallen behind. We see the destination and instinctively begin filling in the journey. Hardworking. Lazy. Disciplined. Irresponsible. Lucky. Entitled. Deserving. Wasteful. Perhaps the most dangerous thing about human beings is not that we judge one another. It is how quickly we become certain that our judgment is correct. Because every life has invisible expenses. Not just financial ones. The kind that never appear on a bank statement or a résumé. Some are chosen. Some are imposed. Some are wise. Some are costly mistakes. Most are a complicated mixture of both. One person reaches middle age with very little savings because they spent years paying school fees for younger siblings. Another because they repeatedly made poor financi...
"Life ni kujipanga." That’s what they told us. That if you just plan well, work hard, and stay disciplined, everything will fall into place. But here you are—fully grown, fully stressed, and realizing that no amount of ‘kujipanga’ prepares you for the rent that ambushes you like an exam you forgot about. Turns out, adulting is a never-ending group project where everyone is faking it, and the biggest scam? The lies we tell ourselves to keep going. Let’s break them down, one painful truth at a time. "Once you finish school, life will be smooth!" Reality: You will apply for 100 jobs, get ghosted by 95, get 3 interviews where they ask for 10 years of experience for an entry-level role, and the other 2 will pay you exposure and lunch. Smooth, indeed. "If you work hard, you will succeed." Reality: If you work hard and know the right people, and have luck, and don’t fall sick, and are willing to fight tooth and nail, maybe you will succeed. Otherwise, some ...