KenyaOnAShoeString: Real Advice for Real Kenyans

A woman chooses not to marry. Another decides not to have children. A third chooses to invest her energy into her career, or perhaps into travel, or art, or activism. These are simple personal choices—no different from a man choosing to remain a bachelor, or a man choosing to have children later in life, or none at all. And yet, in Kenya (and elsewhere), when women make these choices, the world often reacts as if she has staged a rebellion. Worse still, her decisions are interpreted not as choices for herself but as choices against men . Why is that? When Choice Is Misread as Rejection When a woman says she does not want to get married, it is common to hear whispers: “She hates men,” “She was hurt before,” or “She thinks she’s better than everyone else.” But when a man says the same? He is seen as independent, perhaps even smart for “avoiding drama.” When a woman chooses not to have children, she is told she will regret it, that she is rejecting family life, that she is “selfi...

When the rains began around April, I did something small but game-changing—I bought myself a pair of gumboots. Not the cute, trendy ones from Instagram ads. Just plain, functional boots. Every time the clouds threatened, I put them on, slipped my umbrella into my bag, and left the house without a second thought. Walking through puddles in the CBD while everyone else tiptoed around, I noticed the stares. Especially when the rain had stopped by midday and the sun was blazing, people would glance at me like I had missed the memo. But I didn’t care. I wasn’t worried about wet feet, slipping on pavements, or ruined shoes. I was dry, steady, and calm—ready for the season I was in. And that got me thinking: how many of us are fighting life’s rainstorms in sandals? How many of us are too focused on appearances, trends, or the opinions of others to gear up properly for our current season? The Right Tools Change Everything Having the right tools doesn’t just make life easier—it gives you con...

  “The longer you stay where you don’t belong, the harder it is to find where you do.”  — James Clear We often hear people say “I’m not sure this is for me anymore,” but they rarely say it out loud. It’s a quiet knowing. It creeps in during a group trip that costs too much, a conversation where you don’t feel heard, or a day where joy feels more like performance. But letting go is hard—especially when the thing you’re questioning once brought you meaning, pride, or community. This article is a meditation on the courage to let go. Not because we must — but because something within us whispers that it may be time. Through real-world examples, we reflect on how to notice when something once beautiful now weighs us down, and how to transition with both dignity and grace. Here are five deeply familiar experiences, told through the lens of real, Kenyan life. Each is a reflection on the moment you realize: something has shifted. The lifestyle may still look good—but it no longer fi...

“But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” — 1 Corinthians 7:9 At first glance, Paul’s advice may sound like a warning against lust. But underneath, he’s prescribing something deeper and more personal: know yourself. You’re the only one who knows what makes you stumble or thrive. You’re the only one who knows whether you're burning—or whether you have the strength to wait. Paul doesn't shame the person who chooses marriage, nor glorify the one who remains single. He simply says: make the better choice based on who you are. This idea can guide every area of life—not just romance. If you want to live with integrity, peace, justice, or faithfulness, then you must intentionally build a life that supports those values. Here’s how that might look in everyday Kenyan life. 1. Value: INTEGRITY The Choice: Doing Right vs. Making Compromises Joseph , a young procurement officer, lands a job with a decent sala...