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Showing posts with the label power dynamics

Who Owes What to Whom? Rewriting the Rules of Romance in Modern Kenya

When Ivy Wangechi, a promising medical student, was murdered in broad daylight by a man believed to be pursuing her romantically, the country erupted in grief—and then quickly fractured into two camps. One side mourned her death and labeled it femicide. The other asked: “But wasn’t he supporting her financially? Shouldn’t she have made her intentions clear?” This question wasn’t new. It’s the same tired refrain echoed every time a woman is killed after rejecting a man: “She took his money.” “She was leading him on.” “He was hurt.” But behind the horror and hashtags lies a bigger, more complex truth: We don’t know how to date anymore. We don’t know how to say no. We don’t know how to hear no. We don’t know what healthy courtship looks like. And dangerously, we’ve begun to mistake transaction for connection. This is Not Victim Blaming Let’s say this upfront: Nothing justifies murder. No rejection, no heartbreak, no “being used.” Violence is a choice. And women are not to blame...