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Showing posts with the label Kenyan humor

Don't Sell People an Incomplete Map and Then Blame Them for Getting Lost

Don't sell people an incomplete map and then blame them for getting lost. I've been sitting with that thought for weeks because the more I look around, the more I realize that many of the frustrations we carry as a society are not simply about unemployment, corruption, inequality or even money. They are about the stories we tell one another. From the time we are children, we are handed maps for how life is supposed to work. Study hard and life will work out. Get a degree and you'll find a good job. Work hard and success will follow. Save consistently and you'll become financially secure. Find your passion and the money will come. Marry the right person and everything else will fall into place. Believe in yourself. Think positively. Stay disciplined. None of these statements is entirely false. But none of them is entirely true either. The problem is rarely what they say. The problem is what they leave unsaid. Because what is omitted from a story is often just as powerful...

12 Lies Kenyans Tell Each Other About Adulting (And The Painful Truths)

"Life ni kujipanga." That’s what they told us. That if you just plan well, work hard, and stay disciplined, everything will fall into place. But here you are—fully grown, fully stressed, and realizing that no amount of ‘kujipanga’ prepares you for the rent that ambushes you like an exam you forgot about. Turns out, adulting is a never-ending group project where everyone is faking it, and the biggest scam? The lies we tell ourselves to keep going. Let’s break them down, one painful truth at a time. "Once you finish school, life will be smooth!" Reality: You will apply for 100 jobs, get ghosted by 95, get 3 interviews where they ask for 10 years of experience for an entry-level role, and the other 2 will pay you exposure and lunch. Smooth, indeed. "If you work hard, you will succeed." Reality: If you work hard and know the right people, and have luck, and don’t fall sick, and are willing to fight tooth and nail, maybe you will succeed. Otherwise, some ...

12 Everyday Practices That Are Killing Businesses in Kenya (Other Than Tax and Non-Existent Disposable Income)

Never Answering Calls – You set up a business, print posters, open social media pages, and even get a website. But when potential customers call, your phone is either off or ringing endlessly. If you do pick up, it's with a grumpy "Nani?" as if we just disturbed your nap. Customers are not detectives; they will not chase you down. Pick up the phone! Social Media Pages and Websites That Are Never Updated – If your last Instagram post was in 2022 and your website still lists products you no longer sell, then why do you have them? Social media is free advertising. Update your pages, post about your products, and at the very least, put your business hours and correct contact information. Never Getting Back to Potential Customers or Investors – Kenyans love the phrase "Ntakupigia baadaye" (I'll call you later). That later never comes. If a customer asks for a quotation, give it promptly. If an investor shows interest, follow up. Business doesn’t wait for your ...

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The Great Kenyan Home Ownership Madness: Dreams vs. Reality

Owning a home is a big dream for many Kenyans, but somewhere along the way, practicality has been thrown out the window. Too many people, driven by childhood aspirations or societal expectations, are constructing massive houses only to end up living like misers within them. Let’s break down why this trend makes little sense and what smarter, more sustainable homeownership looks like. The Harsh Reality of Owning a Big House in Kenya Many Kenyans, especially those who grew up in humble backgrounds, grew up being told to “dream big.” Unfortunately, this has translated into building unnecessarily large houses, often with rooms that remain unused, multiple verandahs gathering dust, and massive balconies that no one actually sits on. These houses cost millions to build, yet within a few years, the owners are struggling to maintain them, regretting their choices as they pour more money into renovations. If you need proof, just look at how many old houses in Nairobi remain unsold. No one wants...

Daniel Arap Moi — The Shadow and the Shepherd: A Deep Dive into Kenya’s Second President

If Jomo Kenyatta was the founding father, Daniel Toroitich Arap Moi was the long-reigning stepfather — sometimes protective, often punitive, and almost always enigmatic. He ruled Kenya for 24 years, the longest of any president to date. To some, he was the gentle teacher, Mwalimu , who kept the nation from tearing apart. To others, he was the architect of a surveillance state, a master of patronage and fear, the man who perfected repression through calm. This is a portrait of Daniel Arap Moi — not just as a ruler, but as a man shaped by modest beginnings, colonial violence, and the hunger for order in a chaotic time. Early Life: The Boy from Sacho Daniel Arap Moi was born on September 2, 1924, in Kurieng’wo, Baringo, in Kenya’s Rift Valley. He came from the Tugen sub-group of the Kalenjin community. His father died when he was just four. Raised by his uncle, Moi’s early life was marked by hardship, discipline, and deep Christian missionary influence. He trained as a teacher at Tambach ...

Know Thyself: The Quiet Power of Naming Your Nature

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” — Carl Jung We live in a culture that equates good intentions with goodness, and ambition with ability. But very few people in Kenya—or anywhere—truly know what they are made of. We can name our qualifications and our dreams. But ask someone their vices or virtues, and they hesitate. Worse, they lie. The Danger of Self-Unawareness In Kenya today, many of us are wandering through life making choices—big, small, and irreversible—without truly understanding who we are. We end up in jobs we despise, relationships we shouldn’t be in, or positions of influence we aren’t emotionally or ethically equipped for. And at the root of this dysfunction is a simple truth: we don’t know ourselves. This is not a spiritual or abstract dilemma. It’s a deeply practical one. To know oneself is to understand your vices, your virtues, your weaknesses, and your strengths—not in a vague sense, but in detail. Let’s ge...
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