KenyaOnAShoeString: Real Advice for Real Kenyans

"Life ni kujipanga." That’s what they told us. That if you just plan well, work hard, and stay disciplined, everything will fall into place. But here you are—fully grown, fully stressed, and realizing that no amount of ‘kujipanga’ prepares you for the rent that ambushes you like an exam you forgot about. Turns out, adulting is a never-ending group project where everyone is faking it, and the biggest scam? The lies we tell ourselves to keep going. Let’s break them down, one painful truth at a time. "Once you finish school, life will be smooth!" Reality: You will apply for 100 jobs, get ghosted by 95, get 3 interviews where they ask for 10 years of experience for an entry-level role, and the other 2 will pay you exposure and lunch. Smooth, indeed. "If you work hard, you will succeed." Reality: If you work hard and know the right people, and have luck, and don’t fall sick, and are willing to fight tooth and nail, maybe you will succeed. Otherwise, some ...

Never Answering Calls – You set up a business, print posters, open social media pages, and even get a website. But when potential customers call, your phone is either off or ringing endlessly. If you do pick up, it's with a grumpy "Nani?" as if we just disturbed your nap. Customers are not detectives; they will not chase you down. Pick up the phone! Social Media Pages and Websites That Are Never Updated – If your last Instagram post was in 2022 and your website still lists products you no longer sell, then why do you have them? Social media is free advertising. Update your pages, post about your products, and at the very least, put your business hours and correct contact information. Never Getting Back to Potential Customers or Investors – Kenyans love the phrase "Ntakupigia baadaye" (I'll call you later). That later never comes. If a customer asks for a quotation, give it promptly. If an investor shows interest, follow up. Business doesn’t wait for your ...