Know Thyself: The Quiet Power of Naming Your Nature

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” — Carl Jung

We live in a culture that equates good intentions with goodness, and ambition with ability. But very few people in Kenya—or anywhere—truly know what they are made of. We can name our qualifications and our dreams. But ask someone their vices or virtues, and they hesitate. Worse, they lie.

The Danger of Self-Unawareness

In Kenya today, many of us are wandering through life making choices—big, small, and irreversible—without truly understanding who we are. We end up in jobs we despise, relationships we shouldn’t be in, or positions of influence we aren’t emotionally or ethically equipped for. And at the root of this dysfunction is a simple truth: we don’t know ourselves.

This is not a spiritual or abstract dilemma. It’s a deeply practical one. To know oneself is to understand your vices, your virtues, your weaknesses, and your strengths—not in a vague sense, but in detail. Let’s get real about what this means.

PART 1: Virtues — Knowing and Honoring What’s Good in You

A virtue is a quality you embody that consistently produces positive results in your life and for those around you. Think of kindness, discipline, creativity, courage, empathy, or loyalty. Everyone has virtues. The problem is that many people don’t know what theirs are, and worse, don’t create conditions in which those virtues can thrive.

Example: Comfort Over Conformity

You might be the kind of person who wears gumboots in the rain to a fancy restaurant because comfort and practicality matter to you more than public perception. That’s not just a quirk—it’s a virtue of groundedness and independence. But if you don’t recognize it as such, you might abandon it the moment someone mocks you.

Knowing your virtues allows you to make confident life choices. It allows you to say, “No, this path is for me,” even when others don’t get it. It also helps you avoid environments that stifle or devalue who you naturally are.

Example: The Agreeable Helper

If you’re an agreeable, kind-hearted person, you’re likely a peacekeeper and a nurturer. But place yourself in a leadership role with domineering or manipulative colleagues, and your strength becomes your undoing. A virtue in the wrong environment can backfire unless you're aware of it and build supportive structures around it.

Virtues: What Happens When You Don’t Protect Them

Case 1 – The Over-Giver
Agnes is generous. From childhood, she’s been the one who shares her lunch, lends money, and makes people feel welcome. Now in her 40s, she’s bankrupt—emotionally, financially, and socially. She never learned to protect her virtue with boundaries. Every user had access.

Case 2 – The Honest Professional
Joseph worked in procurement. His virtue was honesty. But he had no system to protect it—no alliances, no fallback plan. When the kickbacks started, he refused. His colleagues framed him for theft. Today, he’s jobless and bitter.
Virtue unprotected invites isolation and even punishment.

Lesson?
Virtues are not enough. They must be protected through wise choices, community, and strategy.

PART 2: Vices — Naming the Darkness So You Can Build Around It

Vices are your internal liabilities. They're not sins in the religious sense, but tendencies that, if left unchecked, can destroy your life or hurt others. Everyone has vices. You can’t pray them away. You can’t manifest them into virtues. What you can do is understand them, own them, and build systems that prevent them from hijacking your life.

Example: Addictive Personality

You might have an addictive personality. If you ignore that, you’ll gamble away your future, drink yourself into debt, or binge your way into health crises. But if you know this about yourself, you don’t attend poker nights. You avoid sports betting apps. You put your money in locked savings accounts. You tell a friend to call you out when you start spiraling.

Example: Hunger for Power

If you’re someone who’s easily lured by titles, praise, and authority, then a career in politics or high-stakes leadership may not be for you. Or, you’ll need strong moral mentors, full transparency, and constant self-checks to ensure your desire for influence doesn’t morph into exploitation.

Example: The Need for External Validation

This vice may not seem dangerous until you realize it can push you to live someone else’s life entirely. You’ll dress for others, post for clout, and marry for show. But knowing this vice means you start asking: Who am I trying to impress? Why does their opinion matter more than my peace?

Vices: What Happens When You Don’t Rein Them In

Case 1 – The Charismatic Manipulator
Brian has always been persuasive. In his twenties, people called him a leader. In his thirties, his marriage is broken, his staff resign in cycles, and his business partners don't last a year. His vice is control disguised as leadership. No one could tell him. He didn’t ask.
Now he’s alone, still convincing himself he’s the victim.

Case 2 – The Addict in Denial
Sheila says she only drinks socially. But every Friday turns into Monday, and every month ends in apology texts and bank overdrafts. Her vice—impulsivity—has destroyed relationships and trust. But she insists, “I’m just living life.”
By the time she wakes up, her life has moved on without her.

Lesson?
Vices left unnamed always escalate. And they take more than just you down with them.

What Happens When We Don’t Know Ourselves?

This isn’t just a personal issue. It’s a national one.

• A man with unresolved anger becomes a chief and terrorizes a village.

• A woman with no boundaries joins a chama and ends up emotionally blackmailed for years.

• A “hustler” with no discipline wins a tender and squanders it all in two months.

• A people-pleaser becomes a pastor and cannot confront sin, because he fears being disliked.

Our public failures are born from private ignorance.
You cannot build a healthy society with people who don’t know what they carry—or what they need protection from.

Building Systems: The Real Work

Self-knowledge isn’t enough. The real power comes when you begin creating systems:

• People who hold you accountable.

• Environments that nourish your strengths.

• Habits that keep you centered.

• Clear boundaries that protect you from yourself.

You don’t become better by wishing your vices away or borrowing virtues that aren’t yours. You become better by designing your life around what is real about you.

How to Begin the Work

1. Observe Yourself Honestly
   What patterns repeat? What are you like when you’re stressed, praised, bored, or powerful?

2. Name What You Find
   Don’t spiritualize it. If you’re deceitful, say so. If you’re merciful to a fault, say so. The truth gives you leverage.

3. Design Support Systems

   • Have accountability circles.

   • Avoid triggers and environments that enable your vices.

   • Create structures that reward and reinforce your virtues.

4. Don’t Trust Yourself Blindly
   Don’t put yourself in situations where your vices thrive. Self-trust must be earned through design and discipline.

The Danger of Not Doing This Work

• You become your own undoing.

• You harm people you were meant to serve.

• You end up in careers, marriages, and friendships that collapse under the weight of your ignorance.

In Kenya, we excuse everything: “He meant well. She was just tired. That’s just how life is.”
But self-awareness is not a luxury. It’s a duty.
We don’t need more gifted people. We need more self-aware ones.

Closing Reflection

You owe it to yourself—and the world around you—to know what you carry inside. Virtues shine brightest when intentionally practiced. Vices lose their grip when named and surrounded by boundaries. Kenya doesn't need more people faking it. We need more people who’ve done the work to be themselves, safely and sanely.

“Know thyself, and you will know how to walk away from what destroys you and lean fully into what builds you.”