Skip to main content

12 Lies Kenyans Tell Each Other About Adulting (And The Painful Truths)

"Life ni kujipanga." That’s what they told us. That if you just plan well, work hard, and stay disciplined, everything will fall into place. But here you are—fully grown, fully stressed, and realizing that no amount of ‘kujipanga’ prepares you for the rent that ambushes you like an exam you forgot about. Turns out, adulting is a never-ending group project where everyone is faking it, and the biggest scam? The lies we tell ourselves to keep going. Let’s break them down, one painful truth at a time.

"Once you finish school, life will be smooth!"

  • Reality: You will apply for 100 jobs, get ghosted by 95, get 3 interviews where they ask for 10 years of experience for an entry-level role, and the other 2 will pay you exposure and lunch. Smooth, indeed.

"If you work hard, you will succeed."

  • Reality: If you work hard and know the right people, and have luck, and don’t fall sick, and are willing to fight tooth and nail, maybe you will succeed. Otherwise, some guy who went to school with the CEO’s son will walk in and take your dream job while you're still typing your cover letter.

"Just start a biashara, be your own boss!"

  • Reality: Have you seen how brutal biashara is in Kenya? Rent is high, customers want credit, suppliers hike prices daily, and when you finally start making profits, the government appears with 20 different taxes. Your biashara might just turn into a very expensive hobby.

"Marriage will stabilize your life."

  • Reality: Marriage might just destabilize your wallet. Weddings alone can leave you in debt for 5 years, and you will soon realize that you married someone whose biggest concern is whether there’s enough milk for tea, while you’re worrying about rent, school fees, and the meaning of life.

"If you save consistently, you will be rich."

  • Reality: Saving is great, but let’s be real—KES 5,000 a month won’t turn you into a billionaire. Also, inflation is out here reducing your savings to bus fare. Wealth isn’t just about saving, it’s about making more money, but no one tells you how to do that.

"Just invest in real estate."

  • Reality: The same people telling you this own 10 plots they can’t sell because the land rates are insane and there’s no development in sight. Plus, when will you afford land when you’re still battling landlords for deposit refunds?

"Find a government job, they pay well and you’ll be sorted for life."

  • Reality: You’ll wait 3 years for your first salary, the office printer hasn’t worked since 2010, and the only thing you’ll be sorted with is a lifetime of committee contributions for your colleagues’ fundraisers.

"Side hustle will save you."

  • Reality: Your employer still expects you in the office from 6 AM to 9 PM, your customers don’t want to pay full price, and your supplier just hiked the cost of raw materials. Side hustles are just second jobs that don’t come with benefits.

"Moving out of your parents’ house is freedom!"

  • Reality: Freedom to pay rent, freedom to cook all your meals, freedom to pay for WiFi, electricity, water, and freedom to call your mom asking for ‘a small boost’ before the 30th.

"Having kids is a blessing!"

  •  Reality: Yes, kids are a blessing. But they are also walking, talking, crying, money-draining blessings who need school fees, clothes, food, medical care, and entertainment. And they will ask you for a phone before they turn 10.

"Working abroad is the dream."

  • Reality: Working 16-hour shifts, eating microwaved food, missing all Kenyan holidays, and realizing that the only place you can afford to live is in a bedsitter with a roommate named Steve from Bangladesh. Oh, and sending money home every month like you’re Central Bank.

"You’ll figure it out eventually."

  • Reality: Adulting is just one long freestyle session. No one really figures it out. We’re all just pretending and hoping for the best.

Moral of the Story: Adulting is a scam, but since we’re all stuck in it, we might as well laugh about it. Work hard, be smart, make good friends, and don’t fall for these lies—except for the last one. Because the truth is, you will figure something out. Somehow.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Know Thyself: The Quiet Power of Naming Your Nature

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” — Carl Jung We live in a culture that equates good intentions with goodness, and ambition with ability. But very few people in Kenya—or anywhere—truly know what they are made of. We can name our qualifications and our dreams. But ask someone their vices or virtues, and they hesitate. Worse, they lie. The Danger of Self-Unawareness In Kenya today, many of us are wandering through life making choices—big, small, and irreversible—without truly understanding who we are. We end up in jobs we despise, relationships we shouldn’t be in, or positions of influence we aren’t emotionally or ethically equipped for. And at the root of this dysfunction is a simple truth: we don’t know ourselves. This is not a spiritual or abstract dilemma. It’s a deeply practical one. To know oneself is to understand your vices, your virtues, your weaknesses, and your strengths—not in a vague sense, but in detail. Let’s ge...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Great Kenyan Home Ownership Madness: Dreams vs. Reality

Owning a home is a big dream for many Kenyans, but somewhere along the way, practicality has been thrown out the window. Too many people, driven by childhood aspirations or societal expectations, are constructing massive houses only to end up living like misers within them. Let’s break down why this trend makes little sense and what smarter, more sustainable homeownership looks like. The Harsh Reality of Owning a Big House in Kenya Many Kenyans, especially those who grew up in humble backgrounds, grew up being told to “dream big.” Unfortunately, this has translated into building unnecessarily large houses, often with rooms that remain unused, multiple verandahs gathering dust, and massive balconies that no one actually sits on. These houses cost millions to build, yet within a few years, the owners are struggling to maintain them, regretting their choices as they pour more money into renovations. If you need proof, just look at how many old houses in Nairobi remain unsold. No one wants...
4 comments
Read more

Entrepreneurship Myth In Kenya

Have you ever walked through different parts of Kenya and wondered how some of these tiny, almost hidden businesses survive? You pass by a cramped shop selling second-hand clothes, plastic buckets, hangers, and random jewelry. You pause for a second and ask yourself—who is actually buying all this? How is this business making money? Is it money laundering, or are these genuine businesses barely getting by in ways we don’t understand? I ask myself these same questions all the time. Earlier this year, I got an inside look. I was part of a project that involved collecting data on small businesses across Kenya—kiosks, market stalls, tailors, salons, fruit vendors, milk sellers, repair shops, cybers… all the businesses that make up the backbone of our economy. What I found was both eye-opening and brutally honest. The Reality Behind the Business Dream We love to romanticize entrepreneurship. Motivational speakers will tell you that employment is slavery and that starting your own business i...
2 comments
Read more