KenyaOnAShoeString: Real Advice for Real Kenyans

When I do take an Uber or Bolt , I’m always struck by how different the experiences can be. Same direction, sometimes even the same time of day — yet never the same ride. Some drivers are masters of the road. They anticipate traffic before it builds, weave through shortcuts with ease, and carry an almost instinctive knowledge of the city. Others, though, seem completely lost. They rely entirely on Google Maps , miss obvious turns, and sometimes admit they’re not familiar with the area at all. One driver once told me he had just dropped a passenger nearby and was simply hoping to catch another fare before heading back to his side of town. Another revealed something surprising: the app itself often works against them. Sometimes a ride request goes to drivers far away while those parked just around the corner never get it — or see it too late. He even insisted that the type of phone a driver owns can determine how quickly requests appear. So here we are: the same job, the same cars, ye...

In Kenya , funerals are often not about truth. They are about performance. A drunkard becomes a “ community man .” An absent father becomes “a pillar of the family .” A corrupt politician is mourned as “a servant of the people .” And if someone dies violently, or after a long illness, the script shifts even more dramatically. Suddenly, all sins are erased. It doesn’t matter if they abandoned their children, exploited others, or lived recklessly . Their suffering — or the tragedy of their death — becomes a shield. We act as if pain in death cleanses pain they caused in life. But it doesn’t. How you died does not redeem how you lived. Cancer doesn’t rewrite your cruelty. A fatal accident doesn’t transform a selfish life into a noble one. Even being killed unjustly doesn’t wash away the harm you may have caused when you had power and choices. Suffering in death may make us feel pity, but it does not make you a saint. Why do we do this? Because it’s easier. It’s easier to package ...

We like to imagine that truth is buried deep, hidden away like a secret treasure waiting for the chosen few to uncover it. We search in books, in mysteries, in whispers of what might be. Yet often, the truth is not hidden at all — it comes from visible sources. It is there, plain as daylight, though our eyes and hearts may not always want to recognize it. Think about the people around us. How many times has someone’s behavior told us exactly who they are, but we chose to ignore it? The friend who only calls when they need something. The leader who speaks of service but lives in luxury at the people’s expense. The partner whose actions never match their words. We see these truths in plain sight, but we excuse them, cover them, or tell ourselves a different story. Later, when disappointment comes, we act surprised — yet the truth was always visible. Why then do we miss it? Part of it is human nature. We crave mystery. We want the comfort of believing that the truth is hidden somewhere ...

“Sometimes the most extraordinary lives are the ones lived most quietly.” – Unknown The other day, I found myself reading the obituary of someone I grew up around. We had gone to the same church, lived in the same neighborhood, but to be honest, I don’t remember him clearly. His face is vague in my memory, his presence faint. And yet, as I read the words written about him — especially the tribute from his two brothers — I was startled. Their words painted a picture of a life lived with meaning: quiet joy, steady love, and the kind of fulfillment that doesn’t always make itself visible to the world. I was shocked, though I didn’t fully understand why at first. Perhaps it’s because I had unconsciously absorbed the belief that a life worth remembering must look a certain way — marked by wealth , prestige , or visible achievements . We often expect fulfillment to carry recognizable markers: a celebrated career, material success , the kind of milestones that people point to with admiratio...

We’ve all heard sayings about life being like water — flowing, shifting, refusing to be pinned down. It sounds wise, almost poetic. But here’s the thing: when life actually shifts under us, most of us panic. A job is lost, a relationship ends, plans collapse — suddenly the wisdom of “just flow” feels like an insult. Because how do you flow when rent is due? How do you change when the ground beneath you feels like quicksand? And yet, flowing is not about pretending everything is easy . It’s about refusing to get stuck. The Weight of Rigidity Think about the last time life surprised you. Maybe your employer cut salaries . Maybe a partner left. Maybe your health demanded a new lifestyle . Did you resist? Dig your heels in and fight? Most of us do. We cling to what was, as if holding tighter will bring it back. But rigidity has a cost. It breaks you. Like a tree fighting a storm until it snaps. The Choice to Flow Water doesn’t stop at obstacles. It bends. It carves a new path. And it...

There’s a quiet truth most people don’t talk about: women don’t automatically “soften” because of femininity or personality. They soften because of safety. A woman who feels safe with a man — emotionally, mentally, physically, even financially — will express tenderness in ways that would never surface in an unsafe environment. Safety is Not About Money Alone When we hear safety, many people immediately think of financial provision. While stability is important, it is not the whole story. A man may have money but still be unsafe — if he is unpredictable, dismissive, or emotionally cruel. True safety is layered. Emotional safety : She knows she won’t be mocked for her feelings or silenced when she’s vulnerable. Mental safety : She can share her dreams, doubts, and even failures without fear of being belittled. Physical safety : She doesn’t live in fear of anger, violence, or intimidation. Financial safety : She is not forced to constantly carry the weight of survival alone....

There’s a phrase I once stumbled upon: “A man without peace, money, and confidence will take yours.” At first, it sounded like one of those clever online snippets. But the more I thought about it, the more I saw its truth playing out in everyday life — in matatus , in relationships, in workplaces, and in families. The Man Without Peace Peace is not just the absence of war; it’s the ability to live with yourself without projecting your chaos onto others. A man who has no inner peace will disrupt yours. He will pick fights over small issues, stir unnecessary drama, and leave you feeling drained after every encounter. Think of the man who calls you ten times an hour, accusing you of things you haven’t done. Or the friend who is always restless, never content, constantly pulling you into his unresolved battles. His lack of stillness becomes your storm. The Man Without Money Money doesn’t define a person’s worth, but in its absence, especially where there is entitlement, it often be...

Survival is a word that carries dignity. To survive is to endure. To push through storms, scarcity, and chaos, and still stand. For many of us, it is the baseline of living: paycheck to paycheck , rent to rent , debt to debt . But survival, as noble as it sounds, has a hidden cost. And it is one we rarely calculate because we are too busy moving from one crisis to the next. Survival mode is not free—it drains imagination, steals joy, and shrinks the horizon of what we believe is possible. What Living in Survival Mode Does to the Mind When every day is about making it to the next, the brain rewires itself to focus only on the short term. Tomorrow becomes invisible. Dreams that once felt urgent are folded away in the dusty corners of the mind. Why plan for five years if you aren’t sure how you’ll pay this month’s bills? Why risk starting something new if you can barely hold on to what is in your hands? In this way, survival mode slowly erodes possibility. It convinces us that smal...

Why does doing the right thing feel like a punishment nowadays? You refuse “ chai ” and lose a tender. You return extra change and get a strange look. You speak up at work and become “difficult.” In a world that seems to reward shortcuts, spin, and spectacle, integrity can feel like a tax you pay while others speed past. And yet integrity has its own currency —quiet, slow, and hard to counterfeit. The problem is that most of us don’t keep both ledgers open. We see the immediate costs of being honest and miss the compounding returns. Let’s unpack how we got here, why integrity feels penalized, what its currency actually buys, and how to live it without becoming naïve—or bitter. How We Slid Into “Everything Is a Transaction” This didn’t happen overnight. Three long arcs converged: From community to market: As life monetized—education, healthcare, even celebrations—more decisions became price-tag decisions. When money mediates everything, “what works” often beats “what’s right.” ...

There was a time when human life unfolded in quiet rhythms — milestones marked by intimacy, community, and modesty. A wedding was about two families uniting, a birthday meant cake and laughter, a funeral meant gathering to console and honor. Today, nearly every aspect of life has become commercialized, commodified , and packaged as a product. The question is: How did we get here, and what has this gradual shift done to us as individuals and as a society? A Brief History: From Simplicity to Spectacle The commercialization of life didn’t happen overnight. In the early 20th century, advertising was simple — selling soap, cigarettes, or clothes. But as marketing grew more sophisticated, it shifted from selling products to selling dreams . You weren’t just buying a ring — you were buying love. You weren’t just buying a car — you were buying status. By the 1980s and 90s, globalization and media pushed this even further. Imported images of “ideal weddings,” “dream homes,” and “perfect li...

Chris Brown’s song Loyal is catchy, no doubt. But listen closely to the lyrics: “When a rich man wants you, and your man can’t do nothing for you… these hoes ain’t loyal.” The entire weight of betrayal is dumped on the woman. The man who knowingly chases someone else’s partner? He is invisible, blameless, even glorified. This narrative isn’t confined to music — it mirrors society. The Invisible Man, the Visible Woman Think about it: a man pursues a married woman, or a man flirts with someone in a relationship. When the story breaks, the woman is branded “unfaithful,” “cheap,” “disloyal.” Yet the man is rarely dragged into the spotlight. He is excused as “just being a man,” or worse, admired for his boldness. In Kenya , scandals play out the same way. Side chicks become national gossip. Their faces and names are plastered everywhere. But the married men who approached them, funded them, or promised them the world? Their reputations remain intact. The blame is not shared. It is ske...