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Saturday: Kenya’s Most Valuable Asset (And Why You Should Guard It Like Your Last Born)

Saturday is not just a day; it’s an institution, a sacred ritual, a non-negotiable asset in the life of every Kenyan. It’s the one day you get to reclaim your time, your peace, your sanity, and most importantly, your future. Yet, some of you are out here trading it away like sugarcane in a traffic jam. Let’s break it down, activity by activity, and show you why sacrificing this day is a robbery—committed by either your employer or by your own bad decisions.

1. Weddings: Where Futures Are Built (Or Broken)

Saturday is for weddings, and in Kenya, a wedding is not just a wedding—it’s a financial networking seminar in disguise. You’re not just eating pilau and pretending to like the bride’s gown; you’re rubbing shoulders with people who might hire you, invest in your side hustle, or introduce you to a golden opportunity.

Moral of the story: That salary your employer gives you? A single handshake at a wedding could bring you a contract that triples it. But you’re here working on a Saturday instead of positioning yourself for opportunities. Sad!

2. Funerals: The Ultimate Loyalty Card

You think funerals are just for mourning? No, my friend, funerals are where Kenyans take attendance. If you don’t show up, don’t expect people to show up for you when you need them. Employers will toss you out like expired milk when times get tough, but your friends and family? They’re your real insurance.

Moral of the story: The person you’re working overtime for will replace you in 48 hours. The people at that funeral? They’re the ones who will fundraise for you when life gets tough. Choose wisely.

3. Football with the Boys: A Therapy Session in Disguise

Saturday is for arguing about Arsenal’s latest disaster, dodging heartbreaks from Manchester United, and shouting "weka form!" at your local. These sessions are not just about football; they are group therapy. Life in Kenya is hard, and sometimes, a single afternoon of football banter is the only thing standing between you and a full-blown existential crisis.

Moral of the story: You are out here working overtime for KES 500 while your stress levels are reaching ICU levels. That beer with the boys could be the mental reset you need to think clearly and make smarter financial moves.

4. Side Hustle Day: The Real Boss Moves

If you don’t have a side hustle in Kenya, are you even serious about life? Saturday is when you check your business stock, follow up on payments, network, and plan how to escape employment (because let’s be honest, unless you’re the CEO, employment is modern slavery).

Moral of the story: You’re sacrificing the one day you could be investing in financial freedom for a job that will never make you rich. Bad decision.

5. Chama & Investment Groups: Where the Money Resides

Every serious Kenyan is in a chama, and if you’re not, you’re already behind. Saturday is when chama meetings happen, and this is where wealth is built. You think Jeff Bezos got rich by working overtime on Saturdays? No, he networked, planned, and invested. Be like Bezos.

Moral of the story: You can either spend Saturday making money moves, or you can spend it making your boss richer while you remain stuck. Your choice.

6. Health Check-Up & Self-Care: Your Body is an Investment

Saturday is when you go for that long-overdue health check-up, book a spa session, or simply sleep and let your body reset. Because when you collapse at work, your employer will simply place a "We are hiring" post on LinkedIn and move on.

Moral of the story: You are sacrificing your health for a job that would replace you before your burial. Deep it.

7. Banking & Errands: Managing Your Life Like a Boss

Saturday is when you finally go to the bank, sort out NHIF, NSSF, follow up on payments, and make sure your finances are in check. If you don’t take control of your money, your money (or lack of it) will take control of you.

Moral of the story: You are out here working on Saturday while your debts pile up because you never have time to handle your finances. Bad choices lead to bad outcomes.

8. Family Time: The People Who Actually Care About You

You’re out here working every Saturday for a boss who forgets your name the moment you resign, while your kids, spouse, parents, and siblings barely see you. Then one day, you retire, and realize you have no real relationships left. Sad.

Moral of the story: Your family is your real safety net, not your job. Invest in them.

A Word to Employers Who Steal Saturdays

Dear employers who think paying someone peanuts justifies owning their soul, shame on you. Your employees are not your property. If you need someone to work Saturdays, then PAY them like you mean it. Otherwise, free them.

A Lecture to Employees Who Give Away Saturdays Like Free Mandazis

My friend, be serious. Your boss will never value your time if you don’t value it yourself. If you keep working Saturdays for free or for pocket change, you are the problem. Respect yourself.

Final Word: Guard Your Saturday with Your Life

Saturday is the most valuable day in your week, and you should protect it like your last born child. If you don’t use it wisely, life will humble you. And trust me, life humbles Kenyans daily.

Final Moral: If you don’t respect your Saturday, no one else will. Use it wisely, or regret it later.

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