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It Matters How This Ends: Living with the Finish in Mind

If there’s one guarantee in life, it’s that it will end. Yet, for most of us, that truth is easy to ignore. We get caught up in the middle part—the grind, the responsibilities, the pursuit of success—and forget that, one day, it will all come to a close.

Think about the beginning of life. When expectant parents are preparing for a child, they do everything possible to create the perfect start—buying clothes, setting up a home, planning for education, ensuring the child enters the world in the best way possible. They do this because they understand that how it begins shapes the rest of the child’s life. In the same way, how it all ends shapes what comes after for those left behind—our children, our loved ones, our community. Just as a strong start gives a child the best chance at life, a thoughtful, intentional ending leaves behind peace, dignity, and a meaningful legacy.

It matters how this ends—not just life itself, but every chapter, every relationship, every season. Because how we leave things behind shapes what comes next.

The Middle Part: Where Most Kenyans Lose Their Way

The middle of life is where we get lost. We’re too busy working, raising children, handling bills, and chasing milestones. For many Kenyans, the years roll by in a blur of responsibilities. It’s easy to forget that every decision we make—every sacrifice, every moment spent or wasted—is leading us somewhere. But where?

For most Kenyans, the middle years are full of sacrifice, yet few of us pause to ask: Am I building a life that will allow me to end well?

The Harsh Reality of the Kenyan Middle Years:

  1. The Hustle that Never Ends – Kenyans wake up at ungodly hours to hustle. Whether it’s the boda boda rider grinding from dawn to dusk, the banker caught in endless meetings, or the teacher spending nights marking books, we work endlessly. Yet, how many of us have a real exit plan? When will the hustle stop, and will we be ready?

  2. Money Over Relationships – The Kenyan dream is to build wealth, but at what cost? We prioritize jobs over family, sacrifice friendships for promotions, and focus on personal success while forgetting that no one remembers how much money you made—only how you made them feel.

  3. The Trap of Obligations & Guilt – Many parents remind their children daily of their sacrifices—school fees, food, shelter—as if these were debts. But raising a child is a responsibility, not a transactional investment. We must ask ourselves: Are we raising children who love us, or ones who simply tolerate us out of obligation?

  4. The Illusion of Preparedness – Many Kenyans believe owning a plot or building a rural home means they are prepared for old age. But what happens when medical bills pile up? When loneliness creeps in? When the children they invested in are too caught up in their own struggles to help?

  5. Religion as an Exit Plan – Too many Kenyans assume that religion alone will secure them a good ending. They live recklessly, neglect their health, relationships, and financial well-being, believing that prayers will somehow fix everything in the end. Faith is important, but even the Bible reminds us that faith without works is dead. A good ending requires action, not just belief. Spirituality should inspire us to live responsibly, not as a last-minute safety net for a life poorly lived.

  6. The False Comfort of Religious Identity – Many Kenyans believe that as long as they are religious and go to church, then they are automatically a loving parent, a present sibling, a dependable friend, or a good spouse. But faith should not be a cloak to hide behind—it should be reflected in our actions. Being religious does not automatically make one a supportive father, a nurturing mother, a responsible son, or a loyal friend. Our true character is measured not by how often we attend church, but by how we treat the people around us.

The Painful Lesson from an Elderly Home in Kenya

A while back a BBC documentary highlighted the heartbreaking reality of an elderly home in Kenya, where aging parents, once providers and caretakers, now live forgotten and alone. I visited this home myself, and the experience was sobering. The institution no longer allows volunteers after the documentary aired, perhaps because it exposed an uncomfortable truth—many Kenyans are abandoning their elderly relatives.

Many of these elderly people had done everything 'right'—worked hard, provided for their families, and followed societal expectations. Yet here they were, alone. And this is where we, as Kenyans, need to reflect. People remember how you made them feel, more than they remember what you did for them.

Too many parents treat their children like retirement plans, failing to build genuine relationships with them. They remind their children daily of their sacrifices, making love conditional on repayment. But guilt is not love, and a child who is raised with emotional debt will only grow to resent it.

And it’s not just parents—friendships and communities are suffering too. We are too busy for one another. We show up at funerals with empty words, yet we never made time when it actually mattered. We have lost the heart for community, and we are paying the price.

It Matters How This Ends Because...

  • Family – The relationships we nurture today determine whether we will be surrounded by love or loneliness in our final years.

  • Friendships – The people we call friends today will either carry our memories forward or forget us entirely.

  • Health – How we care for our bodies now dictates whether we will spend our later years in pain or in peace.

  • Parenting – The way we raise our children will influence whether they visit us out of love or out of obligation.

  • Work & Business – The way we conduct business determines if we retire with dignity or regret.

  • Faith – Living our faith through action, not just words, will define the impact we have on others.

  • Community – Whether we invest in relationships today determines whether we will be remembered with fondness or indifference.

It Matters How It Ends

Most Kenyans are not ending well. Many enter old age in financial struggle, regret, or isolation. Funerals often become desperate fundraising events. Parents who sacrificed everything for their children find themselves alone. Retirees realize too late that they were chasing the wrong things.

It doesn’t have to be this way. The middle part of life is where the change happens. If we live with the end in mind, we make better choices today—about money, about relationships, about the kind of legacy we leave behind.

It matters how this ends because the way we live today determines the peace, dignity, and love we will leave behind tomorrow.

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