If you’ve been on the receiving end of "poor customer service," you’ll relate to at least one of these:
1. "I Just Work Here" – The Epidemic of Business Owners and Staff Who Know Nothing
Ever walked into a shop and asked a question, only for the seller to stare at you like you just asked for nuclear launch codes?
- Fruit Vendors: You ask if the mangoes are organic, GMO, or where they were grown, and they just shrug or tell you " lakini ni tamu " (it’s just sweet).
- Waiters & Restaurant Staff: You ask, "Does this have dairy or gluten?" and they call the entire staff meeting to discuss it, only to return with "I don’t know" or worse, a false answer.
- Scent Sellers: You ask about the perfume notes, and they confidently say, "Hii ni original" (this one is original) as if that answers the question.
- Tech & Electronics Shops: You ask about RAM, storage, or processor speed, and the attendant starts reading the specs off the box like they are seeing them for the first time.
- Clothes Sellers: You ask if a dress is polyester, cotton, or a blend, and they tell you "ni ya mtumba" (it’s second-hand), as if that is an answer.
Basic Fix:
- Know what you are selling. If you don’t, Google exists. Learn something.
- If you run a restaurant, train your staff on what’s on the menu. They don’t need to be chefs, but they should know if a dish contains dairy, gluten, or nuts.
- If you sell fruit, at least know if it's ripe! And stop boiling unripe avocados and selling them to unsuspecting customers!
2. Time Wasting & General Disrespect
The Salon & Barber Horror Show
- You book an appointment for 10 AM. You get there, and the stylist is casually eating mandazi, scrolling on their phone, and telling you to "give them five minutes." You leave at 3 PM.
- They force a style on you, claiming it looks better than what you asked for—only for you to walk out looking like you lost a bet.
- They burn your scalp, cut your hairline three inches too high, or just do a terrible job—but still demand full payment.
The Online Business Scam-a-Thon
- You order a dress online. What you receive looks like it was sewn in darkness by someone holding the needle with their toes.
- Ghosting after payment—They respond in seconds when you're inquiring, but the moment you send money, they disappear like Nairobi rent at the end of the month.
- Refusing refunds for damaged goods or pretending that "all sales are final", even when they delivered a completely different item.
- "Dm for price" nonsense—Madam, you are selling a bag, not state secrets. Just post the price!
Tailors: The Dream Killers
- "It will be ready in two days." Two months later, you are still calling them.
- You give them beautiful fabric and a design—they return it looking like something a toddler made in a hurry.
- They overcharge you for a poorly done job and get offended if you point out their mistakes.
3. Transport Industry: The Everyday Battle
Boda Boda Riders & Matatu Culture
- Some boda guys smell like they shower once a month and use their jacket as a blanket, yet they expect you to hug them from behind.
- Matatus blasting terrible music at 7 AM—Sir, we are just trying to survive this economy, not attend a nightclub.
- Reckless driving, overcharging, catcalling female passengers—the list is endless.
Quick Fixes:
- If you are in the transport industry, grooming matters. Smell decent, wear clean clothes, and wash your helmets.
- Stop overcharging people. Just because it rained doesn’t mean the fare should triple.
- Matatus, do better. You could actually change the country’s mindset if you played audiobooks, financial tips, or even motivational talks instead of terrible loud music.
4. Food Sellers & The Hospitality Nightmare
Food Vendors & Restaurants:
- You sit at a restaurant, and waiters ignore you like you are a ghost.
- You ask for fresh food, but they microwave leftovers from 3 days ago.
- You order tea, and they bring lukewarm water with milk that has the audacity to be cold.
Solutions:
- Hygiene first! If your hands look like you’ve been fixing a car, maybe wash them before handling food.
- Train yourself on food handling. It’s not expensive to watch YouTube videos on food hygiene and proper storage.
- Serve customers with respect. You are running a business, not doing them a favor.
5. The Salon, Barbershop & Service Industry Mess
Salons & Barbershops
- Why are you charging KES 5,000 for braids and still using harsh hands as if the customer owes you money?
- If someone books an appointment, honor it.
- Act like you care about hygiene. Dirty towels? Unacceptable.
How to Fix This Mess (Without Spending Money)
1. Time Is Money, Stop Wasting It
- If your business is appointment-based, honor your appointments. No one should be waiting three hours for a simple service.
- If you’re running late, communicate early. It's basic respect.
2. Stop Treating Customers Like an Inconvenience
- Put the phone down. Your customer should not be competing with WhatsApp statuses for your attention.
- Greet your customers. Smile. Act like you want them there.
3. Refunds and Exchanges Should Be a Thing
- If a product is faulty, take responsibility. Stop saying "it’s the manufacturer’s fault" when you are the one who sold it.
- Be honest about what you’re selling. If the fabric is thin, say so. If the shoes run small, warn customers. A happy customer will come back.
4. Online Businesses, Just Be Honest
- Post the actual product. If you’re selling something from Eastleigh, stop using photos from Gucci’s website.
- If you can’t deliver on time, don’t lie about it.
- Give customers tracking information instead of making them beg for updates.
Final Thoughts: Do Better or Go Broke
At the end of the day, customers have options. If your business treats people poorly, they will go elsewhere. It’s that simple.
If you:
- Respect people’s time
- Deliver what you promised
- Act like you care about your business
…you’ll actually keep customers and make more money.
And if you don’t? Well, enjoy losing customers faster than a Nigerian prince loses his “inheritance” in email scams.
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